What the hell is up with that?

I feel the confusion setting in more and more.  I am trying to figure out what exactly I am doing with the next 6 months of my life.  Do I continue to outrun something that catches up with me every night in my dreams and everyday in my thoughts or do I give in and settle for what my life has become?  I am notorious for fucking up good things.  I just can’t help it.  Call it a tragic flaw.  I am like a kid with too many options on a saturday morning. 
The dynamics have changed for me here.  All the friends I made in the beginning have left or are leaving.  It’s like they’ve been voted out of my life either by me or some unseen force.  Some I have voted out because of a disregard for human emotion on both parts.  If you think there is a vortex in Asheville, wait till you spend a month here. 
I won’t lie, Asheville holds a deep deep place in my heart for many different reasons.  Actually about 15 to 20 particular reasons.  I do miss my friends and my family.  I do miss my little pups and Gato.  I miss my pub and the comfort of those mountains.  However, I don’t know that I want to be there.  There’s too much there that I fear, if in my face everyday,  would be the death of me. 
So what is there to do?  Continue to bite a lonely bullet and suck up the emotional pain.  I have a great job and I make really goooooood money.  I have made some really amazing friends.  I am considering culinary school.  (Don’t hold your breathe)  And I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. 
When I first came here I spoke with a local who had watched people come and go all her life.  She told me that only the loners survive this island.  I didn’t think she was serious.  Now I know she wasn’t bullshitting.  Perhaps I am a survivor after all.  Either that or my ego just won’t let my mind give in. 

but I love them and Brian too.  check em out Bri…

I love it when I hear about "decisions I have made" when I am unaware of them.  So here is the clarification for those of you that have "heard" what I didn’t know.   First of all:  I haven’t purchased any tickets to come home yet…one way or round trip.  Second of all:  I have no idea when I will be home for the holidays nor where I will be after them.

I most likely will come back to Hawaii since I pretty much have it made here.  If I do not come back, then I will either be in the Keys or the west coast.  Either way I will be home for about 6 weeks at most.  Get it while the gettins good.

Aloha biatches!

So another birthday has passed and I am about to pass out.  I am busting ass at work still.  Dropped from seven to six days a week.  WOO HOO!!!  First, thank you to all you crackers that sent words of encouragement via phone, email or snail mail for my b-day.  I am looking forward to spanking all of you upon my return.  Secondly, thanks to all of you who didn’t send anything as well…I still love you even though you suck.  Just kidding…I am the worst for remembering b-days and other dates of importance.  Happy birthday SUZIE!!!!!

Speaking of importance I am about to have to make a pretty big decision soon.  Should I have a muffin for breakfast or skip it and have lunch tomorrow?  Any takers?  I really need help with this one as I can barely find the energy to ask for help on this milestone question. 

There’s nothing really interesting to share with you at this point.  I am going to a beach party tomorrow after work and that’s about it.  I was going to go to a show down south but I’ve changed my mind.  It’s like the whole breakfast thing.  You never know until you get there.  So the true point of this blog was to tell good ole Suzie Happy belated.  Can’t wait to reunite that hooker power.  I’ll buy you a beer when I see you.  In case you don’t read this I will still buy you a beer when I see you.  You just won’t know about it. 

As for the rest of you on the east coast let me hear you say yeah!

If you are clueless about the island churning, please read the first one.  I turned in my estimate a week ago now.  Nearly 500 dollars in damage to the windshield alone.  Only one place on the island had the windshield in stock.  Had they not, it would have taken months to replace.  Funny thing though. So, it’s been Pete and repeat.  Good and fine for getting to work or the store…not so great for getting to the beach or other places on the island.  I am awaiting a check that I feel I may never see.  I need this in order to purchase another car.  Apparently this new property manager is a real shining light amongst a sea of bullshit.  He’s an asshole.  The stores in the complex where I work just had their rent increased by 80%…yes that is an 8 followed by an 0.  Eighty percent.  These rich bastards want even more.  The locals are praying for a hurricane in order to slow down development and the developers are raping the land.  This island is so damn beautiful and pretty soon it will look like all the others.  It’s not right.  If you love this island, send your friends to Maui. 

I’ve tried really hard not to be judgmental of others lately.  Here’s the big but…I can’t stand people that exploit others for their own personal gain.  Example one: The new "management" of the facility I work in wanted to tow my car for a week before the tree fell.  When asked Why his reply was: "Because it was parked in the parking lot everyday of the week."  You F-ing dumb—k!!! I work there!!!!  My boss also responded this way.  (Without the emphatic adjectives.) So here is your example. 

Rich bastards!!!!  I have plenty of wealthy friends who don’t act this way.  Why, I ask, do people like him not take their heads out of their ass?  The world would be such a better place. 

People would not be swindled out of their land and people would still be able to drive a f-ing beater car!!!!  Haole bastards!!!!  Bring on the hurricane!!!

A friend and I were discussing many different things the other night.  One in particular that made me think a little harder than usual had to do with memory.  Have you ever been so in love with someone that you could never forget their eyes?  Those eyes were burned into your memory.  If you were to look through a filter of sorts and only see the eyes, would you know that person?  Would you remember that person just that way.  Finally, would it be that persons eyes you remembered or their soul?

    "New Developments in Every Way."  That would be my headline this week.  The white man finally stuck it to me.  Let me give you a bit of background for all you new listeners.  It all began one stormy night in Powerhouse.  Actually it wasn’t storming it was actually pretty nice.  I’m on my way back from doing a good deed and boom.  There goes my tire.  Thank you to whomever you were that ran me off the road.  It’s not Nascar.  Get it fixed, no big deal. 
    Omen two…I lose my keys.  That’s right.  I lost my one key.  It’s humorous.  Hey I can laugh about this one.  And I do.  Easily fixed with the help of my mechanic.  Hammering out steering columns is apparently his forte.  Regardless, he’s a good guy to know when your car needs jacking.  Two hours later and a fifty dollars lighter I am able to use my car again.
    A day now passes and I haven’t left Hauli land in that time for fear of threes.  That is not a typo.  I said threes, not trees.  Mind that if you will.  I am working.  It’s Saturday night and I am working with the boss.  We’re a absolutely slammed.  Not only did my boss look like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest, I did too.  It’s hot.  I am continuously burning myself on hot potatoes, skillets and steam.  All of the sudden the news.
    Debo informs Tim that a tree has just fallen on his truck.  I think to myself: "We’re not out of the clear yet", hold my breath awaiting the foul news I was expecting.  No news is good news, so they say.  Fifteen minutes later Janee walks up to me and asks me if I know there’s a tree on my car.  Let’s see here?  No one told me so I’m gonna guess no.  What’s my door prize?
    Three days go by.  The 535 is wounded and stuck between enemy fire.  This is where you have to understand that there is more riding on this 535 than to be expected.  I am awaiting an estimate to be faxed to Hauli Land who has agreed to pay for their tree.Mind you all I need is a windshield basically.  The Hauli’s towed my 535.  To the crusher. 
    I can laugh about this though.  I can.  And I hope that you do too because it is the most ridiculous thing I have ever encountered.  We’ll give you an update on that outcome later.  You folks really need to laugh more.

Three times now, I have been run off the road by
terrorists. Let me explain. Tourists AKA terrorists, need I say more,
perhaps. What happens to people when
they go on vacation? I will tell you, Mental
retardation. All of the sudden rules
don’t apply. Walk in the middle of the
road to get that great picture. Walk out
in front of a car because you think you have the right of way…hey the cross
walk is over there. Let’s drive in the
other lane because it’s beautiful. Basically it boils down to this. I know they are the fiber of my paycheck but please just use common
sense. Would you do these things in your
own town? I’ve been through three tires
in the past month because of people that don’t understand that people live here
too. Truth is that the reason I am even
bitching is because I’ve had one hell of a week. On top of a number of incidents I get run off
the road by tourists and blow a tire and also warp a rim. Secondly I am working (no true complaint ) 8
days in a row. I need the money. Then comes day 5 and I am working a truly
slammed night only to find that a tree has decided to die on my car. Don’t they say it happens in threes. I think
I am getting a bicycle. Or better yet I
think I will go back to hitchhiking. On a
better note this means that I can start walking to work which will be good for
me. The bad is that it’s a bitch to get
to the beach for now. Oh well, it’s
thumb time. You meet more people that
way. Karma…

As I await my brief return home in november, I am working steadily to pay that bill and then some.  I’m excited about the trip back as I have decided to take the train from Oakland.  At first I thought of actually trying to hop a train.  However, then I thought about it and decided that I would at least like to be home for more than a week.  Alas Amtrak.  From the island I will land in the cold and windy city of San Francisco where I will freeze my ass off until I get some warm clothes.  (I don’t own a long pair of pants).  I will be lucky to have a pullover.  After grabbing some warm clothes I will then make my way across the US.  See you all in November. 

So my fourth of July was pretty quiet.  I was in bed by ten and saw no fire works.  Earlier that day I ran into a couple of friends and we decided to go to this place called Power lines.  It’s a road that runs basically from one side of the island to the other.  It follows a strand of power lines hence the name.  Anyway I thought I would share some of the pics with you all since it was one of the most breathtaking rides I’ve ever been on.  Not to mention it was out in the middle of nowhere.  We got muddy and had a great time.  Kyra started making a Hipei which is like a lei but it goes around your waist.  So here are the pics.

  This was the end result which you can’t see very well.  That’s Marty and I.  That’s the jeep we muddied up.

I thought I was in Africa a few times.

Need I say more….

That is Marty and Kyra looking back at the ocean.

There’s the ocean from a ways in.

There’s the reason….

The road gets a little better in spots until….

It goes up hill…

There’s a waterfall we found…

There it is folks.  This island is so damn beautiful.